I remember when my sister was in college. I was the eldest of four siblings including two brothers and she was the youngest. We were ten years apart. I was married with a toddler. In those days I was waking late at night to a screaming baby while she was walking across campus to a fraternity party. Our normal lives were worlds apart.

Because of our age difference we had not been that close growing up but I wanted a friendship with her. My husband John agreed to babysit so off I went to college to visit her for the weekend! It was such fun being on her territory, meeting her friends, going to class and just pretending I was young and free again! (Not to mention having a break from a toddler!) Most importantly this was a step towards developing a deep friendship. Today she’s an empty nester mother of four and although I live in Virginia and she lives in Alabama, she’s my best friend. That one college visit has been influential in a decision which John and I made.

When we lost our parents we decided to put aside some of the small inheritance into what we named the “Legacy Fund.” We both come from families who have modeled to us strong faith, strong marriages, and a commitment to one another as well as to our fellow man. We gave our kids a one page “Legacy Paper” in which we honored our parents and explained the fund’s purpose to provide financial help in these areas: to attend any conference that would encourage their faith or train them in how to integrate faith in the market place or to enable them to visit each other.

We long for them to grow in faith and to be intentional in developing adult friendships with one another. Because our kids are spread out all across the country this financial resource has provided a way for them to visit one another in each other’s homes. There is a deeper relationship that can develop between siblings when they go to see one another especially when we aren’t there! And in big families it’s often better when the siblings get together in pairs. We, the parents won’t always be here, but God willing, they will have each other. In this empty nest season we have an opportunity to foster these sibling relationships. It may mean forgoing financial help for other things but in the long run it’s the relationships that will matter the most.

Now, I want to call my sister!